why?

right now i'm back to drowning in sorrows.. people around me are not who i thought they were anymore.. and its killing me.. they dont understand me.. they dont care.. only one right now does.. and everythin is so messed up.. everything is hurting... i cant even tell myself its gonna be allright.. coz i dont know anymore.. tears are falling and they cant stop.. and it hurts so bad.. till i dont know what i'm doing anymore.. i  just want my life back.. the part where u were there.. and it was all beautiful. you hurt me to the max but i still love you.. u say things that hurts to my bones but i still love you.. thats how much i love you and more.. more than u can ever imagine..  i wake up everyday and  you are the first thing that comes to mind.. and i smile.. but when i realise the heartache and i have is tears in my eyes.. day after day.. i cried and begged god for u to come back.. give me back that person