hope

i still wonder if there is a possibility if things could turn around. and make me smile again. i hope i can.
i still pray hard for it.

lalalaalaaaaa

blogginggggg..
something i havent done in a long time.. 


things are bad again
results arent looking so good
things i thought would work out. didnt yet AGAIN
just when i thought i could breathe and feel good about it again. life pulls me down
i'm tired honestly. i want to run away to places where i dont know a single soul ans they dont know me.
but it can only havent in my wildest dreams.


I CAN COPE i say as i lie to myself .
it's normal in my not-so-happy life
i used to have a happy place. where i could just run to whenever dreams fail, or my heart is broken, people are just plain rude, ignorant or just mean..
but that place is gone. this time  thought hope for it to not be gone, 
this time.. i dont have much faith or hope it;ll come back.


i find myself back to where i was half a year ago.
crying myself to sleep. 
not eating.
listen to music though it calms my soul it saddens it as well.
looking through pictures i used to hide.


i cant wait for my new room where i can run from the broken memories of my current one. 


A NEW START? i wish..
though i still long for the 22nd's/ 19th's, or even 16th's everyday.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LubQp3fpgo
currently listening to trading yesterday: come back to me